One of the things that drew me to children's books was not just the fact that I loved reading them to my children but that so many of them are written from the heart. Children's books are chock full of emotions and yet the best ones are never obvious or didactic. It is quite an art to walk this delicate line, executing a powerful book because of the feelings hidden between the succinct lines of plot and characterization. Through the years, I have used books that are excellent at portraying strong emotions common to childhood issues as anchors when trying to empower my children in challenging situations and in discovering what is true for them.
Don and Audrey Wood's As Quick as a Cricket is a first primer of emotion. Each page has a full-color illustration of an animal who represents a size, feeling or attribute. Pictorial and verbal roots are skillfully planted amid rhymes and rhythms. When children come up against circumstances in which they feel "sad as a bassett" or "wild as a chimp", a parent can understand, interpret and stabilize the moment for them. The Woods are consistent and conscientious about the messages they present. Take for example the last pages which state: "Put them all together/ And you've got ME!" I think that somehow filters into a children's knowing... a sense of being a sum of their own parts. My son owned this book early on re-titling it The Me Book and "me" was the first word he spoke as he anticipated the unforgettable ending. Ages 1-4. ( Child's Play, 1982)
Was there ever a child born with such an expressive face as the protagonist of Cherryl Kachenmeister's On Monday When It Rained? This pre-school boy's rounded dynamic face is a myriad of expressions as he models such sentiments as embarrassment, disappointment and anger. Each is represented in response to a situation, giving children time to guess at what he might feel before the articulate black and white photographs show them. Situations are well-chosen, typical to a child's experience and the range is excellent. Many children will respond that they feel bad or good in a given circumstance, but very often can go no further emotionally. Unless of course they've experienced Kachenmeister's book and then methinks, they'll think more about how they really feel! Ages 3-6. (Houghton Mifflin, 1989)
When I speak to groups of children, I am quick to tell them that I adore crying---it's one of my very favorite releases. Norma Simon's I Am Not a Crybaby supports my viewpoint. She presents tears in a variety of contexts as varied as physical pain, anger, and hearing parents fight. Simon also explains the emotions that accompany crying as she validates a child's right to sob. After reading this book, I found I enjoyed holding my daughter tight when she cried those deep mournful tears. She healed a bit of my young self who was never permitted this necessary relief. Ages 3-7. (Whitman, 1989; Puffin, 1991)
And every child of any age has a right to feelings, even if on the outside they appear to be A Cool Kid-Like Me! Hans Wilhelm tells the story of a boy whose compassionate grandmother gives him a teddy bear to comfort him in her stead when she goes away. His parents scorn the gift and so does the boy...in front of them. But in the dark, Teddy understands fear of bullies, being alone, antagonistic parents ..until the return of the grandmother who makes him happy "on the outside and on the inside, too! " Ages 4-8. (Crown, 1990)
One of the hardest things to understand as child and adult is rejection. One of the first clear rejections children experience may be not receiving a party invitation. This is exactly the case in Holly Keller's Lizzie's Invitation. Lizzie tries to "buy" an invitation with food, paints angry faces and is finally comforted by another little girl who is uninvited also and ready for fun. Lizzie's reactions to her rejection are perfect and the ending feasible and pleasing. The illustrations are warm as text. Ages 3-6. (Greenwillow, 1987)
Probably one of the most often-heard complaints I hear from children is "It's not fair!" There are times when things happen to them that are not fair and sadly, I realize that occasionally I've created some of those times. I thank Maryann Macdonald for bringing this to a discussable book format in her Rosie Runs Away. Big sister Rosie takes baby Mat outside so that her exhausted mother can rest. Rosie plans all kinds of lovely surprises. The mother awakes, is frightened and then furious when the missing Rosie and Mat are discovered outside under the porch. Misinterpreted Rosie responds by running away and it is only remembering that she's important to some members of the family that bring her back home to her mother's love. I thank Macdonald for the realism she presents on both sides--mothers do get frightened and angry and react. And children are often blamed for things that they did not foresee happening. And there is still love underneath it all. Ages 3-7. (Atheneum, 1990)
One of the more real mothers in the literature is found in Barbara Joosse's Dinah's Mad, Bad Wishes. Dinah has painted on her mother's freshly painted-wall. Both Dinah and her mother are furious; the mother with the deed and Dinah with her punishment. The author does an excellent job of describing the dynamic of frustration building to anger as so often happens between parent and child and she also sensitively describes a child's fear of her own wishing. Best of all, Joosse shows her parent-child audience a way to heal and a happy reconciliation at the end of the book. Ages 3-7. (HarperCollins, 1989)
Many things children feel are complex. My daughter has read and re-read Jamaica's Find by Juanita Havill over many years and she will read it many times more. I have a strong sense of her working things out just as Jamaica does when she finds a raggedy dog in the park and wants to own it. She takes a cap to the lost-and-found, but the dog comes home with her. Her family is surprised and disapproving and very soon Jamaica "doesn't feel good". Remorse and guilt and coveting and embarrassment are awfully big emotions for a small child, but Jamaica works them through to a satisfying conclusion. Ages 3-7. (Houghton Mifflin, 1986)
Emotional tones are different in different homes. One of the best proofs of this is Jenny Hessell's Staying at Sam's. The young boy in the story says staying at Sam's is like "visiting another planet." There's kissing, no guardedness about nudity, and a shared family bed. The viewpoint character's home is the very opposite, but of course, to Sam, it's like "visiting another planet." This is an excellent showing of two ends of the sensitive spectrum , a book to begin discussions about what your family is like. The best thing of all about this book is that the author presents these homes with no judgement about either life style. Ages 3-7. (Lippincott, 1989)
And emotional tones are the same the world over. So proves Ann Morris' words and Ken Heyman's photographs in Loving, a book that shows nurturing around the world. Parents from Kenya to Bali to Israel show the same kinds of caring actions to support their children's growth. Ages 3-6. (Lothrop, 1990)
The best things about the emotion-charged books I have shared with my children is the incredible talks they have begun within our family. These books can inspire examination of your child's philosophies and your own, become channels for bringing up difficult inner issues, open forums for resolution and provide check-ups to allow you to know and acknowledge your child's emotional well-being.