We are now entering the family months. The months, like it or not, when celebration and circumstance collide and family get-togethers are gotten together. Family is the most important influence in the life of children and there are so many different ways to be a family.
Books for young children comfort with warm, loving families. Writer Mem Fox and illustrator Jane Dyer have a special gift for this kind of book- nurturing. Their talents make Time for Bed a rhyming lullaby of a book as Fox names and Dyer pictures twelves sets of animal parents bedding down their young with kisses, hugs, snuggles and tenderness. (HBJ, $13.95; ages 1-5)
Writer-illustrator Shirley Hughes gives us real families. Houses are messy, moms wear jeans, babies always cry, friends come in all colors and life's little problems eventually work out. Now four books are shrunk to a perfect size for young children and economically boxed in The Alfie Collection so that Alfie can guide your children through their dramas and traumas. (Tupelo Books, $16.95; ages 3-6) I think it's important for older children to see that families live in all kinds of different ways. The heroine of Linda Altman's Amelia's Road , a migrant working child , hates roads and longs for a home. She finds peace at the story's end by planting a treasure box beneath a wondrous tree creating a place "where she belonged, a place where she could come back to." (Lee & Low, $14.95; ages 7-10)
Zac and his mother are homeless and sleep in a playground rocket, comforting themselves with dreams that they are Space Travellers. Margaret Wild gives a non-sentimental look at how this lucky pair finds a room of their own, begin real dreams, and share their good fortune with other homeless who have been family to them. (Scholastic, $14.95; ages 7-9)
Pleasant Company launches their strongest female protagonist yet in Meet Addy, a book for emerging readers. Writer Connie Porter brings the 1864 slave world of Addy vividly alive with great writing, strong situations and the feelings of a loving family torn apart by slavery's bonds. Addy is caring, resourceful, and her love of and belief in family supports her through all trials. (Pleasant Company, $5.95; ages 7-11) You may find that your children finish this book and look around hungrily for a sequel. Happily, there is one! Addie Learns A Lesson begins after Addie and her mother have reached the bustling city of Philadelphia. (Pleasant Company, $5.95)
Similar theme and poignancy are found in the beautifully told and illustrated picture story book, Now Let Me Fly by Dolores Johnson. Minna, a slave born in Africa describes her cruel capture, and worst of all, seeing her family separated. There is little that comforts Minna but her hope and her memory of a little African bird that flies free. (Macmillan, $14.95; ages 7-11).
Family meets tale in Walter Wagerin's Branta and the Golden Stone. Branta's dying father unburdens himself and shamefully tells of his past, why he has raised her insolation, and of a magic stone. After his death, alone and lonely, Branta makes a family of wild geese. Fearing their deaths, she wishes herself a goose and truly becomes part of their family. (Simon and Schuster, $16.00; ages 7- adult)
Sook Nyul Choi's Halmoni and the Picnic explores extended family. Yunmi, a young Korean-American sees her grandmother's loneliness in a country she does not understand. Yunmi's friends intuitively care for this gentle woman, insisting that she chaperone a trip to Central Park. Yunmi fears her grandmother's discomfort, lack of language, and the strangeness of her grandmother's tray of Korean picnic treats. But all comes out well and the cultural crossing ends in a charming jump rope chant that children will well-remember. (Houghton Mifflin, $14.95; ages 6-10)
There are several other strong intergenerational stories. Sheryl McFarlane's Waiting for the Whales tells of an older man who plants by the sea and watches for the summer Orcas. He has a granddaughter who loves all that he loves and can find solace after her grandfather's death only when she sees a new baby Orca swimming with the herd. (Philomel, $14.95; ages 6-10)
Jane Yolen writes Honkers, the story of five year old Betsy, sent to her grandparents' farm while her mother faces a difficult delivery. Betsy bravely makes new family by adopting abandoned goose eggs. She shares with the hatchlings her silk security blanket and the kind of nurturing she gets from her grandparents. Yolen again prove herself a story weaver who excels in binding story with images that last beyond a reading. (Little Brown, $14.95; ages 4-9)
Patricia Polacco's Babushka Baba Yaga transforms the Russian witch stereotype. In this story, Baba Yaga longs to cuddle, not eat children. Polacco's vision teaches and re-invents Russian lore, gives us another endearing older heroine, and shows how one grandmother enters a family from an unexpected direction. (Philomel, $14.95; ages 4-8)
In a city sometimes strangers can become family. This is true in Roni Schotter's A Fruit and Vegetable Man. Ruby, an older vendor who has immigrated fifty years before, meets newly arrived Sun Ho. Sun Ho is fascinated with Ruby's artistry of fruit display, his juggling, and the way he "takes care." When Ruby retires to become a country fruit and vegetable man, he leaves Sun Ho and his family, the city stand where they "take care." (Little Brown, $15.95; ages 6-10)
There are family stories for older readers also! Judy Blume fans will happily welcome Here's To You, Rachel Robinson (Orchard, $14.95; ages 11 and up), the sequel to Just as Long as We're Together (Dell, $3.50). When Rachel's brother Charles is expelled from boarding school, his sarcasm and brutal honesty tear apart relationships and psyches in the Robinson house. Rachel, an overachiever, blames Charles until she begins to look below the surface and see hard truths about her life. Judy Blume again helps young adults examine appearances and family unhappiness with humor, and fast-paced, addictive readability.
The family in Patricia MacLachlan's Baby can not face the sorrow of infant death that's affected them all. Into their lives comes Sophie, a baby left in their caring by a stranger who promises return. There follows a year of bittersweet healing where as Sophie grows in babyhood, the family grows in understanding and communicating. As usual, MacLachlan gives us unusual characters and strong images that live and breath the story's situation into a dimensionality. (Delacorte, $13.95; ages 11 and up)
The months of November and December are often filled with family gatherings. Sometimes this season brings up issues for children around family. Children who face alcoholic family members will be helped by Marc Harshman's Uncle James. There's enough historical distance to aid older picture book readers who have faced similar disappointments. (Cobblehill, $13.99; ages 6 and up)
In William Hooks' The Mighty Santa Fe a young boy travels to a family reunion. A crowded car and a house filled with relatives means that he must leave behind his treasured train. Worse still, he is intimidated by the eccentric Granny Blue. Christmas and train magic combine to help him establish relationship with a grandmother he finds strange. There is also a more subtle magic as Hooks captures the warmth and closeness of a large and loving family. (Macmillan, $14.95; ages 5-8)
There's rollicking adventure at two big family reunions. Jama Rattigan's Dumpling Soup finds a young Hawaiian girl appreciating the ethnic differences at her family's New Year's celebration. (Little Brown, $15.95; ages 5-8) And Tricia Tusa trains her usual sense of fun and the absurd on families in Family Reunion when a strange couple appears at a family reunion and begin a string of riotous inquiries as to their identity. (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, $15.00; ages 4-8)
Never was there as interesting a family gathering as Dinner at Aunt Connie's. Faith Ringgold gives us another sparkling family adventure and a new format for knowing the lives of African-American women. Melody meets her newly adopted cousin Lonnie at a family gathering. They like each other instantly and fall to playing. A hide-and-seek game leads them to discover speaking portraits created by their Aunt Connie. From the walls of Aunt Connie's attic gallery speak twelve African-American women whose inspiration is as strong as Ringgold's art. (Hyperion, $14.95; ages 6-10)
Sometimes holiday celebration can be hard to achieve. Susan Cooper's Danny and the Kings features a young boy who wishes to bring Christmas magic alive for his young brother. Magic comes in a strange and yet, believable way. Danny receives support to briefly suspend the poverty of life in the trailer of a single parent family. Danny is a wonderful model of giving for children. (McElderry Books, $14.95; ages 5-8)
Lane Smith's The Happy Hocky Family is quirky parody of a beginning reader. The five smiling, stick-figure members of the Hocky family are all heard from (though Newton, the dog is only heard from only until he becomes crocodile dinner at the zoo). The book takes a certain sophistication and adults may laugh more knowingly than kids. For example, there's a chores quiz where you identify pocket items that have been through the dryer. Each of the fifteen vignettes is good for a belly laugh...a great holiday stress reliever. (Viking, $13.99; ages 8 and up)
And my strongest recommendations for and thanks to Amy Cohn for her From Sea to Shining Sea (Scholastic $29.95; ages 6 to adult). Cohn undertook a staggering mission, gathering stories and art from the most illustrious names in children's books to cover fifteen periods of American history. This is a book that will please all family members and is made to read aloud. It draws from differing backgrounds and times to make a lovely composite picture of the family of man. Organization and dedication shine from every page, but what takes over is the strength of the book itself, for it becomes bigger than its parts. My children are fickle readers, and don't often want a re-read, but this book has broken their pattern. We have read "The Debate in Sign Language" at least ten times. We've read it to friends, have acted it out, assigned different reading parts and enjoyed it every time time! There are such a wealth of stories in this fine collaborative effort that this book may become your family favorite as it brightens long winter nights spent together. (Scholastic, $29.95; ages 5 to adult)
There would, of course, be no parenting without families. Family is the single most important influence in the life of a young child. There are wonderful parents in children's books. Parents who create families that give supportive warm background, families that are silly, familes that understand, extended families and unusual families.
In books for younger children one of the first things one notices are the warm and loving families in the background. b.p. Nichols' Once: A Lullaby has now been illustrated by Anita Lobel. Her fine detailing makes this already lulling goodnight book all the more cozy. In each illustration we see different animals bedding down for the night, each making its own special sound, inviting children to participate in the telling or singing. The sleepers' headboards dominate each picture showing the baby being watched over or cuddled by loving parents. This seems to be the final clincher in an already, warm comforting enviroment. There is music to go with this rhythimic book, but being someone who can not read music, I was grateful to the friend who taught me the words fit perfectly to "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Ages newborn to three. Hardcover only. (Greenwillow, $11.95)
Jesse Bear, What Will You Wear? (Macmillan, $12.95) by Nancy White Carlstrom, has become a new classic in the few years since its publication. Part of the reason is the wonderful lilting rhymes and rhythms which make it accessible to a very young child. Another is the warm and caring Mama and Papa bear who question their exuberant toddler throughout the day and finally manage to get him to slow down for bear hugs and kisses before bed. Papa Bear figures even more strongly in the new companion book, Better Not Get Wet, Jesse Bear (Macmillan, $13.95) Ages two to five. Both available in hardcover only.
Lindsay Barrett George's first picture book, William and Boomer, does a masterful job of quietly portraying a warm family. The story is about young William who befreinds and grows with a pet goose, Boomer. The charm of the friendship is enhanced by William's loving parents. Their obvious enjoyment and delight of their son is apparent not only in what they say, but in the illustrations as well. William's mother plays with his toes as she talks to him and his father holds his hand as they walk to the water together. These are small gestures and yet they tell without pretension the true intimacy of family. Ages three and up. Available in hardcover only. (Greenwillow, $11.75)
Shirely Hughes has now published three books about Alfie had his family. Alfie's Feet, Alfie Gets in First , and Alfie Gives a Hand. All of these books give an accurate picture of family life celebrating the small moments like, putting your shoes on the wrong feet, locking yourself inside a house or being nervous about your first birthday party. The illustrations are as real-based as the issues and characters. Alfie's mum wears jeans, her house is a mess, they are from a humble economic background and little Annie Rose cries a lot. Yet nothing is unmanageable and you know the happy ending comes directly from a happy family who can handle the major problems of a young child with humor and warmth. Ages three and up. Available in hardcover and paperback. (Morrow, $3.95; $10.95-$12.95)
There are many book families that provide interesting departure points for discussions about what your own family believes in. The memorable characters come alive in your home and indirectly teach values and belief systems.
One classic example is Russell Hoban's The Little Brute Family (Macmillan, $9.95; Avon, $2.25). This is the story of an unhappy little family who has no pleases or thankyous, who grimace and scold, pinch and punch until Baby Brute finds a little wandering lost good feling and brings it home with him. The family decides to let it stay, learns to live and love happily and in the end changes their name to Nice. When brutish behavior rears its ugly head in a family it is nice to redeem the situation with a book, rather than the actual scolding and grimacing. There is a companion Brute book as well. The Stone Doll of Sister Brute tells how Sister Brute learns about love. (Avon, $1.95) Ages 3 and up.
Barbara Williams creates a very different family in Albert's Toothache. Toothless young Albert Turtle is suffering with a toothache. He is surrounded by a worrying mama, an impatient father, a tattletale sister and a bragging brother, all of whom learn from the listening grandmother that Albert's toe hurts because he's been bit by a gopher. The family dynamics and dialogues are humerously presented. The soft sensitive illustrations reveal a great way to help children voice their frustrations about not being believed. Ages four and up. Hardcover and paperback available. (Dutton, $3.95, $9.95)
Elizabeth Winthrop's Sloppy Kisses is the story of Emmy Lou who lives in an affectionate family which loves to give big sloppy kisses. Emmy Lou is happy until her friend Rosemary tells her that kissing is just for babies. Emmy Lou spends a few uncomfortable days and sleepless nights until she realizes that she can't live without sloppy kisses and she tells Rosemary that "kissing is for everyone" before she shocks her friend with a kiss. There is a wonderful chorus of the word "EEEEEEW!" which turns this book into not only a great way to discuss family intimacy but a great read aloud as well. Ages three and up. Available hardcover and paperback. (Macmillan $8.95; Penguin, $3.95)
Family becomes something different when they go on vacation. Dayal Khalsa's My Family Vacation is filled with just the kind of things that I remember growing up. There are back-seat arguments, souvenir collecting, car counting, and home sickness. All of these are presented in bright primitive-style illustrations that capture every nuance of both vacationing and being a family together. Ages 4-8. (Clarkson N. Potter, $13.95)
Cynthia Rylant's The Relatives Came, illustrated by Stephen Gammel, well-deserved the Caldecott Honor it won in 1985. It is the story of a large family of relatives who come to visit another equally large family. There are all kinds of warm and lovely things that happen, like smiling, fixing broken things, talking, eating melons and strawberries, laughing and hugging, in fact, "you'd have to go through at least four different hugs to get from the kitchen to the front room." The book is filled with images and illustration and text that convey the beauty and closeness of a perfect family reunion. Ages four and up. Hardcover only. (Bradbury Press, $12.95)
Riki Levinson's I Go with My Family to Grandma's is filled to the brim with family. It takes place around the turn of the century and is the story of five families that travel to grandma's from five boroughs of New York city via different modes of transportation. This bok of few words will bring many words of discussion. Illustrations show how transportation and clothes have changed and how different and alike families are from each other and from you. What shines through Diane Goode's marvelous illustratons are the exuberance, happiness, intimacy and typical reactions of families. Ages three and up. Available hardcover only. (Dutton, $10.95)
Patricia Polacco's The Keeping Quilt is a story telling of four generations of a family. The element that ties them together is the quilt made in part from little Anna's babushka shortly after when she came from Russia. The quilt becomes a tablecloth, wedding canopy, and baby blanket as it appears as the only colored illustration in the book's monochromatic pictures. Both warmth and color are expressive images that give a strong sense of a real and continuing family. Ages 4-8. (Simon and Schuster, $14.95)
A similar theme follows throughout Ann Herbert Scott's Grandmother's Chair when Katie asks why her grandmother owns such a tiny black chair. A photograph album introduces Katie to a history of her matriarchial line--all four year olds who have sat in the chair. Great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother all share many things that Katie loves like tea parties, singing, stories, and watching stars... just like Katie's daughter will love one day. A clear and well-paralleled parable of personal family history. Ages 3-6. (Houghton Mifflin, 1990)
Sharing a name is the family link in Martin Waddell's Grandma's Bill. One day when Bill is visiting his grandmother, he sees a picture of another Bill, his great-grandfather and discovers a whole family story he was unaware of. Again, through sharing photographs, he discovers Bill as a baby, child, man, husband, soldier, father, and invalid. Throughout a natural dialogue, the child Bill questions changes in attire through history, the aging process and even death. Ages 4-7. (Orchard, 1990)
One of the favorite series in our house is Harry Allard's the Stupids, a series which begins with The Stupids Step Out. Perhaps one reason for this popularity is that "stupid" is a taboo word in our house, reserved only for this one family. More likely, the books are preferred because of the zany match of Allard's text and James Marshall's illustrations about a family who take baths without water so their clothes won't get wet, eat mashed potato and butterscotch sundaes and are chauffered around by their pet dog, Kitty, who seems to be the brightest member of the family. There are three equally hysterical sequels. Ages three and up. Hardcover and paperback available. (Houghton Mifflin, $12.95, $3.95)
Mordicai Gerstein's Arnold of the Ducks tells of a young child who is kidnapped from his wading pool by a near sighted pelican and dropped into a family of ducks. Arnold learns how to duck walk, is feathered with mud to look more like his family, flies and grows to love his duck family. All is well until he becomes tangles in a kite and plunges to earth in the yard of his original family. Ages four and up. Hardcover and paperback available (Harper and Row, $12.88, $3.95)
David Small's Imogene's Antlers is a story of a silly situation in an odd family. Imogene awakes one morning with antlers. Her family is surprise, shocked and her mother can't stop fainting. There family warmth comes from the servants in the house who accept this new side of Imogene with the same enjoyment Imogene herself has. There is a marvelous suprise ending that tickles child and parent readers. Ages three and up. Available in hardcover and paperback (Crown, $10.95, $3.50)
Many parents wonder about books about different kinds of families, for example, single-parent, adoptive and step-families. Many of the books written about these families are so direct in approach that they come on too strong with little sense of story. My suggestion is to present all kinds of families and talk about how families are similar and dissimilar and how the world is made up of many different kinds of familes. I have several suggestions that demonstrate this point well.
Cynthia Rylant's When I Was Young in the Mountains tells the story of a young child who is growing up in mountainous coal country. From Diane Goode's illustrations the setting looks to be in the 1930's. As usual, Rylant has packed her story with special images that bring alive late-night privy visits, baths from a pump and river baptisms. Ages four and up. Available in hardcover and paperback. (Dutton, $12.95, $3.95)
Rylant's has a marvelous six-seried group of books about Henry and Mudge. Illustrated by Sucie Stevenson, the I-Can-Read format tells six tales about an only child, Henry and his dog, Mudge. The books celebrate differents seasons and are filled with humor, adventure and have the warm background of an inimate family. Ages four and up. Hardcover only. (Bradbury, $10.95)
My favorite comparative family book is Staying at Sam's by Jenny Hessell. The young boy in the story says staying at Sam's is like "visiting another planet." There's kissing, no guardedness about nudity, and a shared family bed. The viewpoint character compares his home to Sam's and it's very opposite, to Sam, it's like "visiting another planet." This is an exellent showing of two ends of the spectrum families, a book to begin discussions about what your family is like. The best thing of all about this book is that the author presents these ideas with no judgement about either life style. (Lippincott, 1989)
Lizi Boyd's The Not-So-Wicked Stepmother tells the story of Hessie who is going to spend the summer with her father and his new wife, Molly. Hessie knows from books that stepmothers are "wicked, mean and VERY ugly". Of course Molly is not at all what Hessie expects and Hessie grows to love this summer family. The book is filled with feelings fun and much support. Ages four and up. Available hardcover only. (Viking, $10.95) The relationship, issues and resolutions are continued in the sequel, Sam is My Half Brother (Viking, 1991)
C.B. Christiansen's My Mother's House, My Father's House is written from the viewpoint of a small girl from a divorced family who spends part of the week with each of her parents. She describes the differences of homes and imagines her grown-up home that will be a blend of both homes, "without suitcases". Both environments are warm and loving and both parents care deeply for the child, and yet she still feels the disparity. An honest and sensitive look at this situation from a child's point of view. The illustrations provide a warm setting for the emotional tones of the story. Ages 4-8. (Atheneum, $12.95)
My favorite book to help a divorcing family is Laurene and Marc Brown's Dinosaurs Divorce. The book, written from the authors' own experience, is a superb handbook that takes into account interviews with children from all over the country. Brown's illustrations and dinosaur characters lighten the tension by surrounding the well-discussed emotional issues with a humorous presentation. This is a highly empowering book for a child and clearly defines limits, guidelines and expectations. Ages four and up. Available in hardcover only (Atlantic Monthly Press, $13.95)
A Balloon for Grandad by Nigel Gray tells the story of Sam whose balloon has escaped. Sam and his father imagine it going to Grandad Abdulla's desert island. The story has much to say about how families can exist with miles between them and how small our world really is, but one of my favorite things is that illustrator Jane Ray represents Sam's family as interracial. There is no fuss made over this marriage, it simply is. Illustrations of lands and boarders are as lovely as the people portrayed. Ages 2-5. (Orchard, $13.95)
Of late I've discovered the power of books that aid children in journaling and have discovered three that lend understanding to concepts of family. My Kind of Family: A Book for Kids in Single-Parent Homes is a perfect combination of information and journaling. The book is written from a child's view and actually is illustrated with words and pictures by six to twelve year olds. The format gives information about topics such as what created the home, rules, changes, feelings, growing up and leaves plenty of room for writing, drawing and discussing. Ages 3-8. (Waterfront Books, 1988) The same company publishes Changing Families: A Guide for Kids and Grown-ups. The similar format becomes a focus and forum for separation, divorce, and new families. Ages 3-8. (Waterfront Books, 1988)
Me and My Stepfamily: A Kids Journal by Ann Banks provides a workbook to examine situations; describe life, feelings, and self; compare differences; and to develop channels for seeking help. The questions and presentation are straight-forward and empowering. Ages 5-10. (Viking, 1990)
All Kinds of Families by Norma Simon describes families as "you" and all the people who live with you. There follows a long defintion of families that discusses families of all sizes, ages, races, cultures. There are divorced families, adoptive families. The intimacy of families is well-portrayed; the laughing, the sharing, the loving, working and caring. (Whitman, $11.25 )