Holidays are just around the corner and that means family gatherings, parties and all kinds of public appearances for children. To prepare, this season's required reading for adults is Lynne Truss' "Talk to the hand: the utter bloody rudeness of the world today, or six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door" (Gotham Books, $16.96). The author of "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" now launches an attack on manners with comic verve, hoping to "locate a tiny flame of hope in the rubble." Let's help her! After all there are a slew of new children's books on manners to help us.
Jane Yolen's flawless rhythm and rhyme and humorous illustrations by Mark Teague introduce toddlers to rules of behavior through the struggles of ungainly dinosaur. A narrator asks questions children should consider, offering comedic wrong responses before delivering correct answers. "How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food?" and "How Do Dinosaurs Play with Their Friends?" have both been released in board books. (Scholastic, $6.99, ages 2-5). One book asks, "What if a dinosaur's friends come to play? Does he mope, does he pout if he can't get his way?" and after illustrating a few silly potentials the text remarks, "He knows how to play. He treats everyone in the friendliest way." How could a child not want to behave correctly with these unique role models!
Author-illustrator Mo Willems inspires preschool politeness in "Time to Say Please" (Hyperion, $15.99, ages 3-6). Throughout, mice coach children in all kinds of situations. When a young girl wants a cookie, mice suggest with signage "Don't just grab it!" and "Go ask a big person/ and/ Please say 'please'!" While this book lacks the hilarity of his popular pigeon books, Willems' playful approach makes manners fun.
Slightly older children like humor flavored with slight repulsiveness. Author-illustrator Stoo Hample defines manners with twenty-five disgusting characters in his rhyming "Book of Bad Manners" (Candlewick, $15.99, ages 4-8). Meet Angel-faced Stinker known to "fluff out a fart" and the Belcher whose "burps are too crude to describe." Hample's secret weapons of irreverence and readability unite for family laughter and discussion.
An equally funny approach comes in humorist-poet David Greenberg's "Don't Forget Your Etiquette! The Essential Guide to Misbehavior" (FSG, $16.00; ages 5-adult). In the guise of Miss Information, who warns that without this book, "your life will be pathetiquette" if you "do not getiquette". Twenty perfectly-rhymed poems give all kinds of bad advice on everything from slicing cake ("lick off all the icing") to burping (though improper, it's satisfying to let "loose a whopper"). Whimsical illustrations by Nadine Westcott are a perfect match for this poor conduct romp.
The comic team of writer Alan Katz and illustrator David Catrow publish their third songbook, "Are You Quite Polite?" (McElderry, $15.95, ages 3-8). Familiar tunes find new meaning in fourteen songs that border on the revolting with themes like nose picking and talking with your mouth full. Rhyme and humor help children sing and laugh their way into good behavior.
Choose literary role models carefully when it comes to books on manners. Role modeling is clear when Peggy Post and Cindy Post Senning, co-directors of the Emily Post Institute, write "Emily's Everyday Manners" (HarperCollins, $16.99, ages 4-7). Emily and Ethan, two best friends, are models of excellent behavior, whether entertaining, cleaning up, or meeting the President. They are respectful, honest, considerate, and -well, stiff. The book follows the Post legacy in terms of preachiness, but for parents who want to go the authority on defining behavior, this book works well enough.
Three characters familiar to children demonstrate manners in a way may reach them better. Denys Cazet's "Elvis the Rooster and the Magic Words" (HarperTrophy, $3.99, ages 4-8) shows how arrogant Elvis learns that politeness, not power is key in commanding his hens. Meanwhile in Marc Brown's "D.W.'s Guide to Perfect Manners" (Little Brown, $15.99, ages 4-6), D.W. is challenged by Arthur to be polite for an entire day. Check in with your children with a quiz at the book's end! Tony Ross' Little Princess takes a royal approach to protocol in "Say Please" (Kane/Miller, $4.95, ages 3-5). This red-faced, fitful princess has her head thrown back so far we can see her tonsils as she screams, "I WANT MY DINNER!" She also has a calmer self who struggles to remember her pleases. When she encounters a blue monster caught in a tantrum, she provides proper tutelage so that he says "please" and "thank you" before she gives him her yummy plate of pasta.
Two books for older children promote discussion. Writer-illustrator Diane Goode, prompted by a 1802 Spelling book bent on improving reading and manners, creates a wild Colonial Federalist meal in "Mind Your Manners" (FSG, $16.00, ages 6-10). The text, taken from the original book's code of etiquette, is written in period language and the illustrations picture costumes and food as well as atrocious manners of the Abbots who disregard everything the words recommend. They blow their noses, spit at the table, gnaw bones, and worse. The book leads to discussions about the history of manners and older readers will appreciate the humor hidden in the contrasting text and illustrations.
Munro Leaf of "Ferdinand, the Bull" fame takes a philosophical look at manners in his re-released 1946 "How to Behave and Why" (Rizzoli, $14.95, ages 7 and up). Leaf's "whys" are discussion worthy. For example, he explains how when we lie "we mix ourselves up" until we "can't believe ourselves". This is like an operating manual for being a happy human being. The rules are expressed simply, illustrated by with stick figures and the light tone escapes didacticism.
It's hard for children to change and it's hard to hear behaviors aren't acceptable. If you need balance, find a naughty role model who experiences continued maternal acceptance in Emily Jenkins' "Love You When You Whine" (FSG, $15.00, ages 3-6). Sergio Ruzzier shows annoying kid-behaviors like interrupting, demanding toys, painting walls, pulling hair with funny illustrations of a cock-eyed, exuberant little kitten and her often-astonished, sometimes-frustrated, always-caring mother. The book's illustrations and situations are silly rather than saccharine, laughable instead of lecturing. And this seems an important key. For generations etiquette meant lecturing-most of these new books are full of play. Maybe these will make the difference Truss and others are looking for!