In this month of teacher appreciation, as I honor teachers, I think of parents, too. Parents are children's first and most important teachers. More and more studies prove parents set the learning stage and I believe they're the most effective teachers of lifelong learning.
When I recently mentioned Dr. Spock's death to my children, they looked at me and laughed, "What do you mean, Mom? He's just a character on Star Trek!" And so I gave them a brief history of parenting. How once upon a time (when I was growing up) there was no other parenting authority. Now parenting information is overwhelming and stores are lined with hundreds of resources. Of late, I've found a few new favorites.
One of my favorite parenting resources are tapes from the Love and Logic Institute. I especially love those recorded by parenting storyteller, Jim Fay. Love and Logic reaches out to new parents with Toddlers (2 audio cassettes, $17.95; 1-800-338-4065). Jim and his partner, Foster Kline, dialogue about struggles and strategies of early parenting, like surviving early crying, derailing the "No's", and the secret of the "Oh,Oh Song". My only wish was that the title let parents know it's great for preschoolers and that it moved through developmental stages more sequentially. It might be easier to follow if parents have previously been introduced my favorite, Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants (1 audio cassette, $11.95). Parents of adolescents will feel supported by Hormones and Wheels (3 audio cassettes, $22.95).
Paul Tiger and Barbara Barron-Tieger's Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child's Personality Type - And Become a Better Parent (Little Brown, $16.95) applies the experts' considerable experiences in the study of Personality Types to parenting. The book begins by describing personality types with anecdotal stories and descriptive listings. Following suggestions to help parents make assessments about their family styles, there are fuller descriptions of sixteen different styles including challenges and recaps of what parenting approaches work best.
Dr. Ruth Peter's Don't Be Afraid To Discipline ( Golden Books, $19.00) is based on Peter's clinical practice and published for parents with children aged 7-16. She gives concrete examples of difficult behaviors, explains the way these manipulations work, and then offers specific common sense suggestions. Peters writes all these in a conversational, compassionate style that's easy to read and to follow.
New to me was a book that friends with adolescents have sworn is their survival bible, Anthony E. Wolf's GET OUT OF MY LIFE but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the Mall? (FSG, $10.00). Wolf translates teenager's words, explaining what they really want, how they express the confusing struggle of becoming, and their skill at deflecting parent's concerns so they get their needs met. One friend told me, "I swear, it's like he was sitting in my kitchen writing down our exact words." The dialogue and analysis are completely on target and so full of sense you'll wonder why you've been bamboozled so often. Wolf's tone is playful, astute, and made me scurry to find his first book, "It's not fair, Jeremy Spencer's parents let him stay up all night!": A Guide to the Tougher Parts of Parenting (FSG, $10.00).
Children who love to learn have usually been inspired by parents who show their own excitement of learning. I've heard many teachers say that the best parent support elementary school students can have is reading aloud and get down the multiplication tables. Reading aloud was no problem for me, but being math phobic, I balked at the tables. Finally, I came up with a scheme for my daughter to bet M&M's on whether she could successfully remember strings of math facts. Chocolate and fun carried me through. Fortunately there are many new books to promote entertaining at-home learning.
For parents who want to play with early reading, there's Anna Nilsen's I can spell words with three letters and I can spell words with four letters (both from Kingfisher, $8.95; ages 3-6). Children choose an illustration and flip through the letter card choices until the word is spelled correctly. The pictures' backs give correct spelling and at the book's end, parents will find ideas for extending activities.
Writing practice becomes fun with Grosset and Dunlap's My Magic Alphabet Book and My Magic Numbers Book (both $12.99; ages 3-6). Both come with guides for writing and a lined magic screen that erases when pages are lifted.
For children who want desperately to be readers, two new books blend words and pictures to make them part of outloud reading. Monica Wellington's Night House Bright House (Dutton, $11.99; ages 3-6) has page-long "chapters" that follow a wild nocturnal race of cat and mice through vividly detailed rooms. In Bonnie Christensen's Rebus Riot (Dial, $14.99; ages 3-7) children can read word pictures while adults read words to bring sense and laughter to silly poems.
Older children will understand simple machines in a whole new way with Lego Crazy Action Contraptions (Klutz Press, $19.95; ages 5 and up). Parents and children can use the sixty Legos and ten "super-easy" instructions to explore the worlds of levers and gears and create machines that really work.
Ivan Moscovich's The Think Tank: A Fantastic Collection of 3-D and Pop-Up Games and Puzzles (DK Ink, $24.95; ages 10 and up) will bond older children and adults who love the pursuit of puzzling. Wander through the pop-up paradoxes of tangled ropes, mazed pyramids and even a folding jigsaw that turns Mona Lisa into Madonna. Concepts of probability, shape, perception, and pattern are continually challenged.
The most difficult subject to teach is values and beliefs. Two new books can help. Carlyn and Mark Buehner's I Did It, I'm Sorry (Dial, $15.99; ages 6-10) follows animals in their quest of doing the right thing with humor and wit. The book places them in a variety of situations that call for right action and then offers multiple choices. Two are for giggles and a third has great possibility for launching discussions. Each letter answer is hidden in the facing picture along with other disguised animals.
For older children there's Barbara Lewis' What Do You Stand For? A Kid's Guide to Building Character (Free Spirit Press, $18.95; ages 8 and up). The author explains twenty-seven different character traits, like respect, responsibility, and honesty. Then she extends thinking by offering topics to debate and reflect, and activities to undertake. She recommends books and web sites, and for each value tells a story of a child who exemplifies it.