After a decade of working at a profession and working at momming, I am still looking for equilibrium. Even before the birth of my son, I knew I didn't want to work full time because I wasn't willing to give up the day hours spent with children. A year of full-time momming left part of me unfulfilled. Ever since I have done a juggling act and observed other mothers making peace with their choices. Next to balancing, the thing most difficult for me has been encountering judgements that we, as mothers, have of each other. Happily, there are new children's books which support the whole range of decisions women choose.
There sometimes seems to be lack of support and understanding for a mother who makes the decision to stay home and work. It's difficult to describe the ins and outs, ebbs and flows of days spent with children. The day of mother and child is often marked by playful interaction and the frustrations of diverted actions. Marisabina Russo captures this perfectly in Where Is Ben? The mother, busy with pie making, is continually interrupted by her son to participate in an on-going game of hide-and-seek. A young listener will be drawn into story participation by finding Ben in the illustrations. Mothers will recognize the familiar disarray caused by a young child who is actively, joyfully experiencing the comforts of his home. Ages 2-4. (Greenwillow, $12.95)
Even the thought of Mama working threatens Charley, Henry and Will in Karen Akerman's When Mama Retires. This is a WW II mother who imagines the day when she'll "retire from housework" to become a riveter in a factory. Preparing for the possibility, Mama enlists the help of her children to wash and hang laundry, clean up, wash dishes, dust, and polish. The WW II setting and the children's concern act as background while the story focuses on the way the children appreciate her work, feel grateful for her playful manner and the fact that she plans never to retire from hugging. Ages 4-8. (Knopf, $15.00)
Sometimes when mothers and children are physically separated, they still have a sense of each other. Amy Valens' Jesse's Daycare is a story about a mother that works and a young child who goes to day care. Their days correspond in the sadness of parting, the bustle of their mornings, break/snack time, sharing with others, missing each other, and finally comparing days at the end of the afternoon. This book is comforting in showing children what mothers do while away from them, drawing parallels that are understandable and in the caring view of a parent and child divided by work schedule. Ages 2-5. (Houghton Mifflin, 1990)
Ann Tompert's Will You Come Back for Me? begins with a very child-real reaction to child care. When Suki is taken to view her new school she observes intensley and says not a word. There follows a dream where her teddy bear faces fears of adjustment and after much talking, her mother creates a solid symbol of how Suki is always a part of her heart. The last line is a wonderful moniter of how Suki has taken this comfort into her heart. Ages 4-6. (new paperback release from Whitman, 1992)
So many mothers are working mothers, that it's refreshing to see books where children are given a sense of the mom's work place. Barbara Shook Hazen's Mommy's Office shows us the corporate world through the eyes of Emily, who is visiting her mother's large office. Written true to a child's viewpoint, Emily clears up misconceptions about what her mother does every day, (i.e. nothing gets broken during coffee break), but best of all sees that they "do sort of the same things" at both their offices. Particularly noteworthy is the sense of pride that Emily has in her mother and herself. Ages 3-6. (Atheneum, 1992)
Probably one of the most difficult problems for working moms is what to do when children get sick. In Anne Fine's Poor Monty, the sick child has a busy clinic momma-doctor who returns home exhausted. She's so tired, she barely hears her child list symptom after symptom until he reveals a chicken pox tummy. When she scoops him up and acknowledges his ills, Monty feels "a little better already." A good simply told story for a very young child. Ages 2-5. (Clarion, $14.95)
Another sick-child scenario is portrayed in Wendy Orr's Aa-Choo! when Megan must go to work with her mother. Dragged down with her cold, Megan would really rather stay at home, but she adapts to the pillow nest under her mother's desk. While her mother's at a meeting, Megan's enjoyment grows as she makes office forts, answers phones, and is fussed over by all the secretaries in the office. Her worn out mother, of course, catches the same cold, and is happily nursed by Megan who allows her to stay home. Ages 3- 6. (Firefly Books, $4.95)
Transitions are always difficult for kids and a particularly difficult adjustment comes when a work-at-home mum decides to enter the work place. Phyllis Rose Eisenberg describes this well in You're My Nikki. Nikki's so afraid that her mother will change that she asks question after question to make sure her mom knows her through and through. This exchange has a playful, comfortable tone that makes you feel as if it's a daily part of their interchange. Nikki's anticipated change more wisely than her mother, for there is a shift after her mother's first day of work. Her mother is abrupt, rushed, distracted, and the game they once played has vanished. Only later when they relax in the evening and Nikki's mama's work cares have fallen away, do they reconnect and reestablish their warm relationship. A very realistic view, with real characters, feelings and expression. Ages 4-8. (Dial, $14.00)
A more playful treatment of this same situation is Lee Wardlaw's Operation Rhinoceros. This is the third short novel about Jeffrey and his trials and tribulations. Jeffrey's mother has gone for credentialing and the whole family is ecstatic when she gets a job the day before school reconvenes in January. Little does Jeffrey know that she's to be his teacher. Pressure mounts as his insecure mother becomes super strict and classmates hold Jeffrey personally responsible. In his typical dramatic problem-solving style, Jeffrey decides he'll become Rhino man, the most obnoxious troublesome child in the class to make her quit. Only when his mom cries in front of the principal does Jeffrey regret and re-establish former patterns of caring communication. Ages 7-10. (Red Hen Press, $3.50)
As last word, the tangential issue of baby-sitters has received much book notice in the last year. Two books to aid working moms in the babysitter issue are Dolores Johnson's What Kind of Baby-sitter Is This? (Ages 4-8; Macmillan, $13.95) and Phyllis Green's Chucky Bellman Was So Bad (Ages 6-8, Whitman, $12.95). Marissa Moss's After-School Monster (Ages 4-8,Lothrop, $13.95) deals with coming home when there is no babysitter and Barbara Shook Hazen's Alone at Home (a short novel for ages Ages 7-10; Atheneum, $13.95) features a child feels she's old enough to be responsible for herself.
In today's society, there are more families that work than that don't. There are also several good children's books which describe the situation and experiences of a working family. It is important for children to view all kinds of families, but especially nice for them to see families in books that are not cast in the typical role of the Mom who stays home and bakes all day and the Dad who goes out to earn the living.
There are many working families who will find themselves reflected in the pages of Jan Omeroyd's Sunshine. Sunshine is a wordless book that traces the morning of a working family. It starts out at a leisurely pace. Dad and daughter get up, Dad burns toast (this is realism in children's books) and then they wake Mom who is sleeping in (this is not realism in children's books). After a cuddle, the girl leaves her parents to read the paper in bed while she dresses. We follow her in every step of her morning: washing, brushing, dressing . . . packing her school bag. Omeroyd shows us a procedure every child is familiar with and will enjoy naming as the pages turn. When the little girl sees a clock and takes it to her parents, the pace of the book changes. There is a mad scurry to get everyone out the door. For example, Dad pulls on his pants while he runs across the room. But finally everyone is ready, with seconds to spare for a final Eskimo kiss good-bye . A warm, humorous portrayal of the age old question "Where did the morning go?" Sunshine has a companion book named Moonlight which you might enjoy as well. Both are now available in paperback from Puffin for $2.95.
In Amy Schwartz's Bea and Mr. Jones, we meet Bea Jones. Bea is ready for a change. She has had it with the beanbag and clothespin games of kindergarten. Her father is just as fed up with his desk job and having to laugh at the boss' jokes all day. So they change places . Bea dons her father's suit and he practices cartwheels. They are both successful at their new jobs. Bea saves the Crumbly Crackers account and is made president of toy sales and Mr. Jones impresses his class by spelling antidisestablishmentarianism in blocks. The black and white illustrations of Bea and Mr. Jones highlight the humor of the unlikely switch in this award-winning picture book. Ages 5 and up. Available in paperback. (Bradbury,$9.95; Penguin,$3.95)
And what about the working Mom who also works at home? Kate Greenway-winning author/illustrator Anthony Browne tells us in The Piggy Book. Mrs. Piggot, mother of two arrogant sons and wife of a male-chauvinistic husband, is faceless through much of this book. Finally one day, she writes a note which states: "You are pigs!" and leaves home. From that point on everything in the house turns into pigs, from the flowers on wall paper and upholstery to, of course, the Piggots males themselves. Even a young child enjoys finding all the pigs. Finally snuffling around in the litter they have made, they grovel and beg Mrs. Piggot to return. She does and Browne shows us her face for the first time. The male Piggots learn how to work at home and Mrs. Piggot is free to do some less traditional tasks. Browne's remarkable detailing and humor make a remarkable book out of a theme that in less masterful hands might seem outdated. Ages 4 and up. It comes in hardcover only. (Knopf, $9.95)
In Joe Lasker's The Do-Something Day, we meet Bernie who wants to help, but everyone at his house is too busy to let him. Bernie gets mad and says "No one needs me. I'll run away!" He runs to the deli,the bakery, the produce wagon, the shoe repair and the pet store. At each place he is invited to help. He does so happily and each time is rewarded with something special. At the end of the day Bernie looks over his treasures and reflects on his day's work with great satisfaction. He shares his "earnings" with his family. At the end of the story, his mother acknowledges that the family needs things from one another, but "we really need you to love," a warm satisfying conclusion for a child who needs security in a busy bustling world. Ages 3 and up. Hardcover only. (Viking, $12.95)
Sometimes the effect of work on the family is not fun. Sometimes work itself is not fun...For example, look at David Adler's You Think It's Fun to Be a Clown! Before we even begin the book we see the audience roaring with laughter and then we look at the clowning job from the clown's point of view, being shot from cannons, stepped on, shot at, cut in half... "You think it's fun to be a clown?" This is an extremely helpful book to talk about how jobs aren't all that fun when a parent is tired in the evening. The funny and bright colorful illustrations are well-balanced by the expressions on the clown's face. There is a surprise ending when we find out that the clown is female and her children embrace her at the end, showing us her "other job." Ages two to adult. (Out of print but available at most libraries)
And what about family businesses? Karen Barbour's Little Nino's Pizzeria tells the story of Tony's family who happily make pizzas together until a man with lots of money (he is illustrated in a green suit with dollar signs all over it) convinces Tony's father to open a new restaurant. This new restaurant is fancy and popular, but Tony's father does nothing but paperwork and Tony is in the way. Finally Tony's father decides he wants to make pizzas again and opens a new business called "Little Tony's". The story is great fun to read aloud and to talk about. Ages three to six. Hardcover only. (Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich, $14.95)
The Terrible Thing That Happened at Our House is that the young girl's mother goes back to work. Author Marge Blaine tells the story of rushed mornings and a little girl has to deal with the transitions and take care of herself. She even eat school lunches in a cafeteria that "smells like fish and frankfurters" Her father changes too. He shops and cooks horrible meals. But worst of all, the little girl doesn't feel as if she's heard any longer. This leads to a big confrontation and afterwards the family changes and begins to work more cooperatively and listen to each other. After we read this book in our house we had a long discussion and then instituted a family clean up every night which has become know as "the wonderful thing that happened at our house." (Macmillan, $12.95, Scholastic, $2.95)
Eve Merriam's Mommies at Work and Daddies at Work are two books that have been re-illustrated by Eugenie Fernandes. Not only are a wide variety of races, professions and locations represented, but both books fight sexism in stereotyping and present parenting as the most important work of all. Ages 2-4. Hardcover. (Simon & Schuster, $5.95)