Several years ago I put together a review of sibling books for Baby Talk. At the time, a friend asked me to seek out books about babies for the very young. I found only a handful, but in the last year the children's book market seemed to have caught on to the need and now we have sibling books for all ages!
The waiting phase of baby's coming life is most meaningful to older expectant siblings. Most babies can't conceptualize that the bump in Mommy's tummy will yield a playmate.
The best waiting sibling situation is the three or four year old that covets a new baby. My son was one of those. He bugged and bothered us from the age of three to create a baby. "There's room for my baby to sit on this seat," he'd remind us in the middle of a zoo train ride. So we let him read the color of the pregnancy test and he became our partner in pregnancy. Second pregnancies are so different from the first that his newness to the miracle enhanced our marveling.
He began with questions about how this had all occurred. He was very satisfied by Joanna Cole's How You Were Born, a book that has just been re-released with color photographs by Margaret Miller, but the same comforting and caring text. The book begins with a welcoming five page introduction for parents and then merges "just the facts" with the emotional side of birthing. Ages 4-6 (Morrow, $15.00)
Another of our favorites, Sheila Kitzinger's Being Born, has now been released in paperback. The text for nine month's of development is written from the insider's viewpoint and is matched with stunning photographs by Lennart Nilsson. Ages 4-8 (Putnam,$11.95)
Waiting for Baby by Tom Birdseye is a lullaby of promises that the sibling on the outside murmurs to the baby on the inside. He promises hide and seeks, hugs, tumbles, the sharing of favorite toys and a whole multitude of other dreams. When the reality arrives, his sibling arrives in a much smaller package than imagined. "But I'm holding you./And I'm loving you./Because you're finally, finally together with me." In the multitude of sibling anxiety books, this warm welcoming will be happily greeted by siblings with a positive outlook. Ages 4-6 (Holiday House, $14.95)
James Early, the older sibling in Linda Shute's How I Named the Baby passes the seasons by inventing names. There are new names like Mapleanne in the fall, the fine old family name of Ethel decided amid Thanksgiving's family stories, and spring blossoms into "a garden of girls' names. On through the seasons march James' thoughtful naming (and Shute's lyrical writing)...until June when calendar, name, and his sister's birth all unite! The thoughtful warm partnership of sibling and parents is a strong strength of this book. Ages 4-7 (Whitman, $13.95)
Very young children may experience the advance months of pregnancy in a physical way as the size of mother's lap grows smaller. This is what occurs in Ruth Horowitz's Mommy's Lap. For Sophie her mother's lap has always been her favorite place "to play, hear stories, and sometimes fall asleep." Her Daddy's lap and attention can't compensate and Sophie's unhappy. Her satisfaction returns when Sophie and baby Sam snuggle together and their sibling relationship begins in this special place. Sophie also discovers that sometimes "her lap is the best place for baby Sam to be." Ages 3-5 (Lothrop, $13.00)
A similar idea finds different treatment in Ann Herbert Scott's On Mother's Lap. The book has been re-issued with colored illustrations which deepen the warmth of an understanding mother who knows how to comfort her first born in the face of a new baby. Michael, enjoying sole attention and a lovely "back and forth, back and forth" rock is finally able to welcome his new baby into sharing Mother's lap "where there is always room." Ages 2-5. (Clarion, $14.95)
A very young child will probably not understand what's going on until the baby's been born and is present in the home. Debbie Driscoll describes this in Baby Comes Home. With only four words per page, she describes the gradual acceptance of a toddler for her new baby. The little girl moves from a rather negative welcoming "Baby's home./Go hide." and "Baby cries./Cover ears." to a string of happy resolved interactions. The big sister is happy and proud that "Touch fingers" yields "Baby holds". Finally, a song brings a baby smile, the big sister's smile returns and the ending words of Baby Comes Home connote a whole new set of feelings. The interactions are sense-based which seems a perfect reflection of how a young children experience. Ages 1-4 (Simon and Schuster, $14.00)
Cathryn Falwell's We Have a Baby is another sibling book of few, but powerful words. It really captures those romantic first few days when a family falls in love. "We have a baby!/ A baby to love" state the first two pages and then comes a string of loving caretaking activities where the sibling is an active, excited participant. And the story ends lovingly "A baby to love/ A baby who loves us." Ages 1-4 (Clarion, $13.95)
Ann Jonas' When You Were a Baby, is a string of remembrances of all the things a toddler couldn't do as a baby. This validation of growing up will comfort and nurture sibling sympathy for a baby who's less able. It's now been released in board book format so that it can be carried around and manipulated by toddlers. Ages 1-3 yrs. (Greenwillow, $6.96)
Anni Axworthy's Along Came Toto robes sibling adjustment in animal clothes that can open up conversation about your child's feelings. Percy, the dog, "lived very happily in a house that was all his own." When Toto the cat moves in, he follows Percy everywhere until good-natured Percy gets "grumbly, growly and grouchy" and finally explodes in canine tantrum. A scary dream follows and Percy is glad for the soft, warm, purring companion to comfort him. A good calming book that can help a grumpy child find words for feelings. Ages 2-4 (Candlewick Press, $12.95)
Another adjustment written from the canine viewpoint is Phoebe Koehler's Making Room. A "good master" is devoted to his dog until he marries, gets a cat, and then a baby. With each adjustment comes a loss, but each loss is balanced with a gain. A simply written book that lifts the problems out of the human dimension and presents a pattern that's a good lead to begin discussion of both sides of babies. Ages 3-5 (Bradbury, $14.95)
Anthony Browne always seems to have a different approach to issues and his take on sibling adjustment is no different. In Changes, Joseph Kaye is told by his departing parents that "things are going to change." And true to their words everything does! The teakettle changes into a cat, his slippers grow wings, a chair becomes a gorilla and Joseph's worry grows. When his parents introduce him to his new squalling sibling, he smiles with relief. An older child and parents will love to watch transformations and see the visual expression of a child's fantasies! Again, this is a great lead to discussion of changes. Ages 4-7 (Knopf, $14.95)
My children were so fascinated with Our New Baby: Pop-up Book I had to pry it from their hands so I could get a look myself. It is the most involving pop-up I've ever seen. Siblings are immediately drawn to pulling tabs that kick baby legs, fastening velcro and zippers, squeaking toys, tying bows to tie, covering with fuzzy blankets and humming along to the musical lullaby. And while they participate with the clever mechanisms, they are viewing the importance of their involvement and caretaking. An additional plus is that it is available with starring babies of African-American, Asian or Caucasian heritage. The book is well-written with loving messages and rhymes that can capture a young child. Ages 2-5. (Pleasant Company, $19.95)
Martha Alexander, a much loved illustrator and author, helps toddlers build sibling relationships with her four new board books. Alexander really captures the games that the young play. In Where's Willy the baby hides in a bag and chases his sister until he falls and breaks through the paper with a big grin. In Willy's Boot, Lily and Willy pick up toys only to discover Willy's boot is missing. In Lily and Willy they "parent" dolls in perfect harmony until the concept of nap arises and Willy's threatened by the thought. In Goodnight, Lily, Lily reads Willy to sleep, Willy reads his bear to sleep and then in a magical ending, the bear and doll take over. All books are playful, warm, and capture child view with humor that keeps the stories from being too sweet. Ages 1-3 (all $4.95 from Candlewick)
Another beloved writer-illustrator, Shirley Hughes debuts a new young sibling series with Giving and Bouncing. Hughes is, as usual, masterful at showing a family that cares more about intimacy than tidiness. The siblings are clearly products of this home where sharing smiles, tea parties, soggy bread crusts and fun are a way of life. Ages 2-4 (each from Candlewick Press, $12.95)
Susan Winter's Me Too and I Can are companion sibling books. They have the same sibling characters, but I Can's speaker is the older brother and Me Too's speaker is the little sister. Facing pages show big brother's skills and the baby's silly imitations. Each ends with one sibling speaker acknowledging the importance of the other. Ages 1-3 (both from Dorling Kindersley, $9.95)
Susanne Strub's My Dog, My Sister and I has a four year old speaker who remembers his own babyhood, the coinciding arrival of his baby sister and his dog. He parallels their growth in terms of night behavior, eating, "accidents" and speed of development. Comparisons are interesting and very much the kind of things a young boy would note. Ages 4-6 (Tambourine, $14.00)
Ellen Senisi's Brothers and Sisters is a photojournalistic accounting of what many brother and sisters think of their relationships. The range covers kids of all different colors, age differences, and feeling states. There are twins and adopted children. Siblings close together and far apart. A spectrum of brightly illustrated relationships. Ages 4-6 (Scholastic, $12.95)
What might be really fun is to record your children's own story. This might be done informally, but if you want help, I recommend My New Baby and Me: A First-Year Record Book for Big Brothers and Sisters by Dian G. Smith. This sibling baby journal is formatted with illustrations from the Metropolitan Museum of Art's 1914 Le Journal de Bebe . There is plenty of room for comparisons, drawing, photos and feelings. The formatting is simple, humorous, playful and creates a wonderful family heirloom. And it really helps older siblings become part of the experience and gives them a little bit of time to be the family focus. For ages three and up. Paperback only. (Charles Scribner's and Sons, $10.95)